One month mark
I can't believe it's been a month already. Sometimes it feels like it just happened yesterday. There are definitely still times where I get pangs of longing, but when I think about it, they're more so for the loss of my life/future than they are for Fab. I still feel completely betrayed by what he did and how our relationship ended, but I guess that's normal. I hope he regrets this someday.
On the other hand though, I am excited about moving to Paris. I'm also nervous since I'm not 100% sure things are going to work out with the French family, but I just keep trying to remind myself that stuff always works out in the end, so there's no use stressing over it. Que sera, sera, right? But I think this is experience is going to be huge for me.
For one, I'm a serial dater. I've gone from one long-term relationship to another long-term relationship for probably the past 13 years. Second, I've never lived alone. And now I'm about to embark on a journey where I will do both. But I sort of feel like this is something that everyone should do once in their life. It will be good for me to learn to live with myself again. I need to find the old Samantha, the one who used to laugh a lot and have fun. I've spent so much time alone over these past few years that I feel like I've kind of lost myself (and some of my social skills in the process). So while I know that living in Paris won't always be a piece of cake, I do think it's the right step for me to take.
Every once in a while, I get these flashes of hope, like maybe my life is really just about to start. Like this was just a stepping stone to something bigger and better, and one day I will look back on this incredulously and wonder how I ever could've imagined spending my life on the farm. Either that, or fate will laugh in my face once again and make me fall in love with another farmer!
Labels: Heartbreak hotel