I felt bad about having my mom come all this way and not see anything, so today we left the boxes and the packing and went to Mont St Michel. It turned out to be a bad move on my part. Fab and I went there on my very first trip to France back in December 2001 and it just served to bring back all kinds of memories. At that point, we hadn't seen each other in over four months and were crazy in love, probably acting like those annoying couples who can't stop touching each other. And since it was December, we pretty much had the place to ourselves and spent the whole day holding hands, exploring, and just generally enjoying the fact that we were finally in the same time zone. So all's today did was bring all of that back - all the places we sat, the things we talked about - it all came rushing back. I should've known better than to go some place we had been together, but I wanted to take my mom to somewhere unique but yet not too far away since my poor little car can't handle long roadtrips. Sigh. I wonder if I'll ever be able to come back here and not feel this way?
Labels: Heartbreak hotel
posted by Ksam @ 6:15 PM
12 Comments:
Trust me, it will get easier. Try and build new memories at your favorite places, and focus on moving forward. You'll get there, so for now try and enjoy the time with your mom.
I'm so sorry Sam. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and you couldn't have known how you would feel about it once you were there.
Things will feel better when you are in a new place. You can start to make fresh memories.
Don't you leave tomorrow? You're almost there!
There will come a time when you can go back and actually enjoy those memories...
Unfortunately, it's not likely to be anytime soon.
So, until you can look forward to the reminiscing, which could well be years, I'd avoid those places when possible. No need to put yourself through that when there is a whole new world to build new happy memories in!
Isn't your mom going to Paris with you?
Oh, and what happened to your teaching job - I thought you were just on spring break...
Hun, note to self: NEVER return to places that you enjoyed intimately with your ex. Not within a three to five year period. You need to allow yourself time to build a new life, time to forget, time to build new memories. My god, how crap was this visit. I can't imagine. Please, give yourself the time but also be wise? Stop hurting yourself .... don't take the calls from those who offer "information". Don't return to those places where you and M. Radin experienced romantic moments. Take this time to re-build your own internal strength, to remove yourself from Bretagne, to re-invent YOU !!!
Gotta do this ... otherwise you are still destroyed in his world. Don't allow this. You do have control, take the reins and ride ...
Good luck, you can do this. Many lesser women have.
Sue
It's really just a matter of time, though it may not seem like it right now.
I had a hard time at first with the fact that B was a fan of some of the same obscure things (comics, tv series, etc) as my ex, but in the end, I think it was regular exposure to them that made them banal and no longer a reminder of my ex. It was difficult visiting the same places with B as I had with my ex, but time helped that. Plus I made an effort to do slightly different things and to make new memories. So even if I visited downtown Chicago with my ex, it wasn't the same as when I visited with B and at the end of the evening I felt confident that I hadn't just repeated the previous experience.
What Ginger said is so true. You will go back there one day with an open heart and mind but for now I guess you´ve figured out the hard way AVOID everything that has anything to do with the old you(s).
You haven't lost your Minnesota accent have you. I chuckled with the statement All's. Keep it up were all pulling for ya.
You know, Sam, this might actually have been the very best thing to do. It forced you to mourn, and to make that initial foray into reclaiming for yourself a place that once was the two of you. I have found it so helpful to extinguish those associations and each "first" feels affirming, despite the sorrow. I think you have to mourn the end of this relationship to prepare yourself emotionally for your next love.
Hi Sam,
I think that everyone is right here... You had a good idea to go there and had no idea how you would react... You will get through this... It takes time. Allow yourself time to heal and you will see that as time passes, it will become easier and you will be stronger!!! Take care....
Bizzzzzz, Leesa
Yes, you will be able to come back and not feel bad or sad - but that takes time.
It will happen when you are satisfied and happy with what you've made of your life - which of course isn't now, you're still in mourning.
Sam,
Not only will you be able to go back, you will go back and chuckle at yourself because you mourned a loss that you now realize was really insignificant, compared to what you have currently. How's that?! But remember every hardship we go through in life,is a lesson we must acquire to move forward and grow emotionally.
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