Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'm feeling kind of down today. One of Fab's friends called me this morning, and it set me back a bit. Another thing that's been really strange is not being able to call him. Since he worked so much, the phone was really how we stayed in touch, and I called him 4-5 times a day. Often for pas grande chose - just to check in and see how his day was going. I think it's going to take me a while before that urge goes away.

The other weird thing is not being able to wear my ring. I love my ring and I've been wearing it for six years now - Fab gave it to me the first time he went back to France without me, as we didn't know when we'd see each other again. It just feels so strange not to have it on me, I keep reaching for it. I've been trying to wear it on my right hand, but it just feels wrong. My left hand feels so naked. But I guess that will come with time too.

I've really just been trying to remind myself that this isn't permanent, that the pain will pass, that it will get easier and easier every day. My English friend went through this herself right around the time when Fab and I started dating, so she's been absolutely great about all of this, just listening and giving me the support I need. And it helps to see her so happy today with a guy that is so much better for her than her ex ever was. (Even if the idea of starting dating again completely freaks me out). But overall, I'm just trying to take it all one day at a time, and remind myself that I can do this. Just look at everyone else who's been through it. They survived and so will I. But God, sometimes it hurts.

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16 Comments:

Blogger Starman said...

Hang in there, Sam. You're right, it will get better and you, too, will find someone better.

April 13, 2008 at 4:50 PM  
Blogger Le Tigre in France said...

As Starman says, you will find someone better, someone whose right for you.

Not calling or having much contact is always the hardest part..but I think putting distance between you both is the best thing right now, so skipping the channel for a bit was a really good idea..

April 13, 2008 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Karina said...

i agree, hang in there and just remind yourself that things you're feeling are normal and you shouldn't have to try not to feel them. its (unfortunetly) all part of the process and getting through it will make you stronger and will have taught you so many things.
are you still in england? when do you get back? give me a call whenever you want and you can always come up here to visit too!!

hugs

April 13, 2008 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger purejuice said...

call us 4-5 times a day.
xxx

April 13, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger purejuice said...

and get yourself a beautiful ring.

April 13, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger Justin said...

Hang in there, and it will get better.

April 13, 2008 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Princesse Ecossaise said...

Even though it's hard right now, by not giving in to the urges of calling him you are saving yourself a lot more heartache later on by making this as clean a break as it possibly can be. Keep pushing through it Sam and you'll get there. Try to keep busy, treat yourself and make the most of all these offers you are getting to stay at people's places!

I agree with purejuice; call your friends / family when you want to talk to someone, and treat yourself to a new ring!

Still thinking of you and sending you tons of LOOOOOOOOVE!!!

xxxxxxxx

April 13, 2008 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger judyb said...

oooh, such a good reason for a new ring. Wear it on your left hand, too.

April 13, 2008 at 6:20 PM  
Blogger Backinthegroove said...

Definately get something to replace it that will be for the next chapter of your life. It will get better xxx

April 13, 2008 at 6:39 PM  
Blogger TreeFeathers said...

Yeah, I vote for a cool new ring, too. Treat yourself!

April 13, 2008 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Frankly, I like the new ring idea, too!! There are so many nice jewelry stores all over, it will be fun just to browse and shop! :) I agree with everyone else... and that not calling is one of the hard things to get through, too.. Can your friends, email, Skype, chat... etc... anything that will help you not feel so alone or lonely... You have such an awesome attitude and just that right off from the beginning will help you tremendously! I am so convinced that you will LOVE Paris, that you will decide to stay here! I don't know why I think that, I just do!!
Big hugs, Leesa : )

April 13, 2008 at 7:28 PM  
Blogger Syd said...

They say it takes 28 days to make or break a habit - so I think that your itchiness to phone and funky missing ring thing will pass pretty quickly. Wish it only took 28 days to get over a broken heart.

April 13, 2008 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger Texas Espresso said...

::big hug:: tomorrow is another day. it will be better =)

April 14, 2008 at 12:15 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

New Ring! It's always fun to treat yourself, what better reason ^_^

April 14, 2008 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger katiez said...

2 practical suggestions for your ring:
There's no reason why you can't wear it - if you love it, it's yours after all.
If it has a stone, plan on changing the stone someday.
Or, do what I did, have the stone reset in a 'right-hand' ring.
If it doesn't have a stone - just call it a friendship ring.... or a 'life lesson' ring.
You may not be together but he will always be a part of your life, whether good or bad... And someday, you'll start remembering more of the good.
And even appreciate the 'life lesson' you learned while together.

April 15, 2008 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Gads .... as someone who broke off a long-term relationship and had a whole year "off" before meeting up with my Breton I have to say that in retrospect it seems more a matter of breaking old habits. Time is the only healer, the only route to your new life. Leaving Bretagne is a very healthy move. Also, and yeh, I know that this may not happen, is there any way to simply be vague with your former in-laws (*lol* out-laws !) ? Maybe over time they will get the hint. Heck, after you have finally severed ties with your former job perhaps you can change your mobile # ? Then everyone can be directed to contact you soley via e-mail ? Just a thought .... the immediate demand on your mental energies of multiple phone calls sure is a lot to handle, at least you can pace yourself in responding to e-mails.

Hang in there Sam. This is a crappy road that you travel but take heart in knowing that many have travelled it before you.

Finding someone better ? Well, you definately deserve someone that appreciates and treasures you but to be honest, center yourself and find your bliss. When you least expect it someone will enter your life and you will be the wiser for this horrid experience. Nothing like real-life experience !

Besides .... Spring in Paris ? How jealous am I !!!? *giggles*

Cheers - Sue

April 17, 2008 at 10:22 AM  

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