C was one of ten people chosen to welcome the foreign military delegations at this year's Salon de Bourget
. It's a big honor, but also a big time commitment. Meaning he has to be at the Charles de Gaulle airport 24/7 for ten days straight. Unfortunately those ten days also fall between two of my work trips, so our plans to see each other and attend his brother's wedding reception in Normandy this weekend fell to the wayside.
This, however, did not sit well with his brother and his new bride. Which is how I found myself heading to the reception alone, via a complicated system of RERs and trains. It was being held in such a small town that the nearest train station was 30min away, and someone had to be sent to pick me up.
I have to admit, I was a little nervous. This would be the first time I would ever be alone with C's family, and as I am still a little bit more than traumatized by the family events and get-togethers in Bretagne, the butterflies were having a heyday in my stomach. Old habits die hard I guess. Luckily for me, time and time again C's family turns out to be way more open-minded than Fab's family & friends ever were, and I ended up having a lovely time. (Even though it made me realize that I am not a details-person and that we still have a lot of work left to do).
There were however a few funny moments. The bride is Chinese and her parents had made the trip over to France. They don't speak a word of French and not more than a few words of English, so communication was difficult. But I had to laugh when C's mom asked me how you said "copine" in English and I said "girlfriend". She said "No, no, that's not it. It's "love" something or other. Yes, there we go, "Love friend". And then she said in English "Zees ez zee love freend of C". Good thing they didn't speak English very well, or they'd probably end up thinking I was his mistress!!
Later on, after dinner was served, C's mom and other brother turned to me and started talking about the DSK affair. C absolutely hates when they talk politics at the dinner table, but since he wasn't there to stop them, off they went into an 30min interrogation about why the Americans are insisting he is guilty when everyone knows he is innocent. Some of their comments to me:
"It has to be a plot by the Americans. They are just jealous of DSK's popularity worldwide and didn't want him to become president of France." Um yeah...Except 99% of Americans didn't even know who he was before the whole affair.
"Why are the Americans all smack-talking him for being rich? You love rich people!" I watch a lot of American TV now that we have the slingbox and I've never once heard anyone criticize him for having money. French TV on the other hand is another matter -people have been all over him here for his wealth. So nice try.
"It has to be the cleaning lady just wanting to sue". I've thought a lot about this, and I think I disagree. Before getting nationality, I was always nervous about renewing my cds every year and I did everything I could to stay under the radar, as I think a lot of foreigners in unstable situations do. Here was this poor woman, just trying to make a life for herself in a new country. But what do you guys think?
After my foreigner-defense came the biggie. C's mom practically shouted at me "Okay Samantha, explain to me how you can force someone to give you a fellation
". Time froze for a second as my brain caught up to the fact that my future MIL had just said the word "blowjob" to me. And then she said it again. And again. Louder and louder each time, until everyone around us was staring.
"And seriously. How could it start on the bed and then move to the bathroom? Why didn't she escape? How can you sequestrate someone in a hotel room? So Samantha, tell me how you can force someone to do it! She has teeth, non? Why wouldn't she just have bit him during the FELLATION
??" (again with that word)
Nothing I was saying was good enough for her, so I finally just semi-shouted "How the heck would I know, I wasn't there!" And then luckily a few of my tablemates chipped in and agreed with me, and quickly changed the topic. C's mom is great, but man, sometimes she just has no filter....
Labels: C's follies, Franco-American weddings