Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Sunday, June 12, 2011

CAP Mariage, part 3

Who knew this would turn into a three-part series?

The last part of the meeting talked about what we could actually do to personalize the civil ceremony and make it our own. According to one of animateurs, about half of French weddings take place only at the Mairie, ie they don't do a church wedding afterwards. And since the City Hall wedding is normally a wham, bam, thank you Mam kind of occasion, they encourage those who are only getting married at the Mairie to take the time to make it special.

So here is a list of things you can do to make the ceremony your own. I was actually pretty surprised about all the different options available - I never would have thought we'd have so much choice in the matter:

-You can have them play music when entering the salle des mariages
-You can ask the Mayor to say certain things during his welcome speech
-You can ask to decorate the room
-You can have the witness, a friend or a family member read a text (FYI: 140 = ~1 min)
-Both partners can say vows if they so choose
-You can have someone sing or play a song
-You can exchange rings (this is highly encouraged by CAP Mariage for its symbolism)
-You can have the witnesses, family members or friends make a speech
-You can have music played while you're exiting the salle des mariages

If you'd like to do any of these things, it is strongly advised to make an appointment with either the Mayor or whoever is going to be marrying you to talk about what time is available and how much your city hall lets couples personalize things.

And what's next for us? After the initial meeting, we can also do a follow-up meeting with one or more of the volunteer couples. I think we'll probably do it, especially since C couldn't make the first one. And as a side note, they are also available to help you decide which of the French marriage contracts you should choose (this is mandatory when filling out your wedding dossier). It is a fairly important choice because the type of marriage contract cannot be changed within the first two years of marriage, plus changing it is quite costly as it requires the help of a notaire.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Bostanna said...

All three of these posts remind me of the mariage prep classes we were made to take part in before being allowed to be married in a catholic church here in the US.

June 12, 2011 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Eileen said...

Very interesting Sam! I find French weddings to be such a mystery of traditions that are close to ours and yet not the same. I look forward to hearing about how you guys choose to do yours!

June 12, 2011 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger meredith said...

Are you having a church wedding too?

June 12, 2011 at 7:30 PM  
Blogger Linds said...

Sounds like these CAP Mariage classes are pretty helpful! My husband and I did only a few sessions of pre-marriage counseling and it was one of the best things we did in the whole wedding process. They're such a great way to hash out potential speed bumps and make you reflect on the marriage not the wedding. Will you guys be personalizing your ceremony?

June 14, 2011 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Delana said...

Oh man...how to choose a marital regime! It sounds so powerful...and I imagine that here, it is! So which one did you choose?

June 14, 2011 at 11:40 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

who knew there were so many personalization options? All we got asked was whether we wanted to exchange rings at the mairie or not. Maybe if we weren't having a church ceremony afterwards, they would have menionned the things we could do.

June 18, 2011 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

One thing I love about living in a little village is that they let you personalise pretty much everything - they're so excited to have a wedding in the village - our deputy mayor made a heart out of flower petals on the mayor's desk, they put flowers on the window sills, they allowed my Dad to walk me from the door to the mayor's desk and they allowed us to have our dog as the ring bearer (that was a cute harness to make)

June 19, 2011 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger arif hasan said...

Thanks for a nice post. Its may interesting topic.


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December 21, 2012 at 12:44 PM  

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