The one in which I am once again the weird foreigner at the wedding
Some of you may remember the wedding I attended during my very first weekend in Paris, ie. the one where I did pretty much everything one was not supposed to do - showed up late, wore the wrong clothes, danced with underage boys, etc. And then there was L& B's wedding where I didn't know I was supposed to have written a speech and a funny song for them, so I was totally unprepared and did not fulfill my role as a witness. (Btw, I still feel bad about that, guys).
So it should come as no surprise to you that I was once again the weirdo at Mrs Leyla's wedding. When I showed up at the Palm house (which until we arrived, I'd thought was the "Parma House" because of everyone's accents!), I found it odd that there was no gift table. I asked a man near the door and he just looked at me like I had two heads.
The girl I'd come with just had a card with money, and I thought "Money? That's awfully impersonal. I spent ages trying to think of a nice gift for them". But wouldn't you know, that's what everyone else had done too. There was even a special box for the cards:
If you look closely, you can see just the tip of my present, sitting underneath the post box all by its lonesome. The people that came in after us even pointed at it and laughed. As I watched the girl put her card in the box, I asked her how she knew to do that. She just shrugged and said that's how it was done. And I asked the nice Thai boy sitting next to me how he'd known and he said the same. Even the other frickin' foreigners knew what to do! *sigh* Let this be a warning to anyone else who wants to invite me to their wedding.Though on second thought, at least you wouldn't need to book any entertainment.
PS. Lest anyone think I did not have fun, rest assured that I did once I got over my present hissy fit. It was an absolutely lovely wedding in a beautiful setting, and I'm so glad to have been a part of it. I'd been a bit worried about it, but I had so much fun that I did not once think about last year's NYE, and how I'd thought Fab was going to propose during our fancy dinner. Sure was way off base with that one, huh? lol
posted by Ksam @ 11:34 AM
8 Comments:
I wouldn't have known either. I think giving money in a card, especially to someone you know well, is rather crass.
Was this an english wedding? Its becoming much more common in Australia too - to the extent that people will ask for cash instead of presents which I find rather tacky. Much nicer to give a present chosen with love and care. Glad you had a fun time anyway :)
I think it's okay to give a gift, it's just that people probably mail them ahead. My English friend who just got married got gifts and cards at hers. I think that gifts are very nice if they're well thought out. I bet she appreciated that you took the time to think about her.
I asked my English coworker and he said gifts are ok and a lot of people have registries like in the US. So how did everyone there know?
As for the speech, that's not your fault you didn't know- people are meant to tell you ahead of time what's expected of you!
I think either is fine... esp. if someone has a registry and you know exactly what they want and need.. makes life easier (for me, at least as I never really know what to get besides a frame!). For our wedding, I asked for cash instead of presents as I was moving to France a couple months later and didn't want to pack MORE stuff than I had to-- I was already trying to get rid of stuff-- and Alex and I used the money to pay for our honeymoon- the entire thing-- 4 days in Vegas - we both love to travel so it was a really nice gift.. My cousin did they same thing... but my brother got BOTH- because they had a Chinese Tea Ceremony - where the family gives the couple money... Plus, they got a lot of gifts at the wedding... I think it's up to the couple to specify to guests and if they don't - than it's both!!!
The mystery is solved! I am, in fact, retarded. While trying to somewhat organize my papers this morning, I came across the wedding invitation, with a paper inside detailing accomodation options. It also had a small note at the bottom stating that the couple would prefer a monetary contribution towards their honeymoon in lieu of gifts. Which I did not read that carefully before the wedding because I did not need to worry about accommodation. Dur!!
I'm slow on the commenting, but I meant to say that it was no big deal about the song/speech at our wedding. I didn't even know there were going to be speeches and songs. I think it was more of a Mathieu and Nico decided amongst themselves thing and were boulets and didn't communicate.
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