Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I'm on the train headed for the South now - I'm a little nervous about changing trains in Bordeaux since I've got three bags and only two hands, but oh well.

I saw Fab last night - he worked until 11pm and then came to pick me up. The first thing he said to me was "See, you're not missing anything - if we were still together, you would've just been waiting at home for me". I asked if the girl was bothered by his work schedule at all, and he said "Not yet, but she probably will be soon enough".

He apologized for staying in the gite, and said he felt "really guilty, but didn't have any choice" because he doesn't have any income and she is a temp worker, so no one will rent to them. And I think they need to be out by the end of the month - ha, sucks to be them!

He told me several times that I looked beautiful and that he was sure I was going to find someone better than him, and that I'd be happier. And that I'd come back in ten years with pictures of my kids and my rich husband and find him still there on the farm, likely fat and bald, and that I'd thank him for doing this. Hopefully he's right.

We talked for almost three hours in total, and I actually felt ok when he dropped me off. He was actually worse off than I was - he was crying as he drove away. I felt relief almost - relief that it was over, relief that I stayed calm, relief at the realization that I really do deserve better than this, better than what he had to offer. Finding out he was at the gite with her really threw me for a loop yesterday, but today's a new day, and I'm feeling back on track again. And two weeks from today I will be in my new home in Paris, ready to move on to bigger and better things.

This is getting kind of long, so I'll write more tomorrow about how it went at the prefecture, and also about the big lie my MIL told everyone about me. Fun stuff.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile



Blogger judyb said...

i'm glad you were able to have that conversation, and it sounds like you're ready to move on.

we're all pulling for you.

May 14, 2008 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Katia said...

Oh sweetpea - as hard as it must have been to talk like that with him, it clearly sounds that it has helped you move through some of the emotions you've been having.
And we can't WAIT for you to be in Paris :)

May 14, 2008 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

I'm just hoping I don't run into the bloke on the street!

May 14, 2008 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger The Big Finn said...

Don't look back.

May 14, 2008 at 11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While it was hard it does sound like it gave you some closure on things..he really is setting himself up for a miserable existance,that's for sure.

As for your MIL, don't know what she said but no doubt she didn't want to admit to people about what he did so she's blaming you since you won't be around..

May 14, 2008 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger Lesley said...

What time do you arrive in Bordeaux? I'm free until 1 p.m. and just a few minutes from the station. And I have two hands too!

May 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I'll be thinking of you as you head down this way. If you have time between trains and want a friendly face (or a hand), txt me--I'm about to go email you my phone number. I'm busy late this afternoon, but have time before then, and it's not out of my way.

Whoa, you've made a lot of progress since you and Fab last parted. Good for you for holding up. That must have been HARD! I'm glad you got the chance to talk, though.

May 14, 2008 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger barbara said...

I understand that learning what you did made you feel bad, youve closed the door to that house.
Ready to move on.

It was good that you had one last talk .So, you can leave with your head up and with a clean slate.

Have a great trip to Bordeaux :)

May 14, 2008 at 1:02 PM  
Blogger The Late Bloomer said...

Hang in there, Sam -- I agree that at least that last meeting helped you to have some closure. I definitely know how painful this must have been for you, how complicated as well.

You have some great times ahead of you, in Paris and many other places! Enjoy your time in the South, and hope to get a chance to finally meet you when you arrive in Paris!

May 14, 2008 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger misschris said...

The first steps towards closure :) Good luck with the prefecture.

May 14, 2008 at 6:45 PM  
Blogger GL'sD said...

Well Ms. Calm we're proud of you, keep it up. It's alright to look back, just don't turn around.

May 14, 2008 at 8:12 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

I have thought about saying this many times and I never do but now I think I will, but I have always wondered if maybe Fab has convinced himself that he is not good enough for you, that he is never going to be able to offer what you deserve and maybe this was a pre-emptive strike-to push you out when he was strong enough because he thought you would leave him anyway.

May 14, 2008 at 8:40 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

Can't believe there are more MILFH stories...maybe I can just call her LFH(lady from hell) or FFH(femme from hell). DFH? WFH? Doesn't have the same ring, though. Whatcha think?

Also, if I ever see Fab in Rennes, I'll hold out my leg and trip him. Mwahaha!

May 14, 2008 at 8:45 PM  
Blogger Ginger said...

Hun, Fabs has some MASSIVE self-esteem problems. Was this due to his upbringing? Who knows. He most likely has his good points or you would have not hooked up with him. Unfortunately, he does not see himself to be the man that you saw him to be ... even potentially.

He would have been far better off with you at his side. Now he has chosen the proverbial "albatross".
She will hang off of him; no matter if he is still young and fit or old and fat ... she will suck off of him as a predator. He chose this. To his own detriment. He has his own god to answer to. You have done the correct thing ... you have confronted him, been graceful ... followed your own, lonely path. You will prevail.

Fabs saw you ... strong, your new hairdo (sorry, but this affects men in my experience ... ) Your strength and willingness to go forward ... without him. He is missing this. you can bet on this. My thoughts? My opinions? These presented upon a woman that I have never met and a man with equal qualifications? I say that you are brave, willing to endure anything in the sake of love, for the gain of knowledge, for the future of you and your beloved! Him? He shit this all down the hole for a tramp with even less self esteem than he has. Let's get past Fas, shall we? Now that you are a savvy and hot blond fox moving to Paris... Hmmmm?

Luv ya bebe !!!! Sue

May 14, 2008 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

Yep, closure is indeed the key word here. But if any of you happen to run into him in Bretagne, feel free to give him a good kick in the shins anyways, LOL.

Jules - I don't know - half of me thinks that could be true (and would like to believe it is true because that's the Fab I knew), but the other half of me just thinks he's an ass.

May 14, 2008 at 10:51 PM  
Blogger La Framéricaine said...

Bonne chance with your French naturalization dossier! Have fun "down South" and "up North"!

"Walkin' Away A Winner"
Kathy Mattea

Any time love is on the table the stakes are high
But I thought this was love so I laid it all on the line

You nearly took everything I had
Never knew I could hurt so bad
But I least I left with every piece of this heart of mine

I'm walkin' away a winner
I'm walkin' away from a losin' game
With my pride intact and my vision back I can say
I know where I'm goin' an' I know I'll be alright
I'm walkin' away a winner
An' walkin' back into my life

It was a hard way to go when I didn't know when to leave
An' if you knew all along baby you weren't tellin' me

Now I know what I can live without
I'm heading down the right road now
Still believin' in a way
That a real love is meant to be

Im walking away a winner
Im walking away from a losing game
With my pride intact and my vision back I can say
I know where Im going
an' I know I'll be alright
I'm walking away a winner
Walkin' back into my life

I'm walkin' away a winner
I'm walkin' away from a losing game
With my pride intact and my vision back I can say
I know where I'm going and I know I'll be alright
I'm walkin' away a winner
Walkin' back into my life

Walking back into my life
Walking away a winner
Walking back into my life
Walking away a winner

Congratulations, Sam!


May 14, 2008 at 11:38 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I think the other girl is pregnant. That's what girls here in the US do to trap a man. And if she is, what a stupid for doing it with a poor man. You do that with someone wealthy. Don't she know nothing! You all know I'm just kidding, right? Well! She might be.

May 15, 2008 at 12:11 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 15, 2008 at 12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are good reasons you fell for him and they will always be true. you fell for him because he was loveable, not because he was a schmuck and you're crazy.
you're fine. he has changed into a schmuck and now you are onto paris. paris, my friend. paris. the city of light.

May 15, 2008 at 4:10 AM  
Blogger Leesa said...


Good luck with that dossier!! As for this encounter with Fab... it DOES help to get to a "closure" state, I do know this from my own experience! And, I soooooo double what Ginger said in her comment to you above... I am so sorry you have to go through all of this... With Fab staying in the gite with the BI-OTCH and with what MIL lied about- BI-OTCH, too! You will have a BIG BLAST in Parisn and Fab knows how well you will do there... I think he is having regrets and issues!!
Big hugs, Leesa

May 15, 2008 at 8:42 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

Well, yeah, he is an ass. I am not defending him God knows and sure he never would have left you if he hadn't found this slag but I guess my point is that you have to take what you had and believe it was real because I think it was but somewhere along the line you outgrew him and he knew it. You just can't think your whole relationship was a lie because I don't think it was.
He wasn't an ass when you met him, he is an ass now because he refused to grow and become the man you deserve and that probably hurts him but he doesn't have the strength of character to do what has to be done so he takes the coward's route and walks.

May 15, 2008 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Duchesse said...

Don't spend time thinking about what he is and what he isn't, that has nothing to do with your life now. I am nearly 60, this happened to me when I was 32, and of course devastating at the time.

You will see it so differently in a little time... to be free to trying so hard with a person who is not the right one to be with. I wish you strength and compassion for all persons involved.

May 16, 2008 at 2:23 PM  

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