Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Friday, August 19, 2016

To Bise or not To Bise - that is the question

I've got this kind of funny situation going on at the gym. You see, working out does not become me, and I don't stay fresh like those perky girls in designer clothes and perfect hair.  I'm also still self-conscious about my accent, and I don't like people knowing I'm a foreigner if I can help it. So I do my best to stay anonymous, both when entering/exiting my building and at the gym. That's worked out pretty well for me for the past few years - I go in, do my thing, and then go home.

However, this summer, a sort of 'gang' has formed, made of people who do basically the same classes I do everyday, an alternation of spinning, weight-lifting and cardio. I usually smile and say Hi and Bye to these people, but haven't made any effort to actually go beyond that.

One day though, the instructor was way late and everyone was hard-core complaining, but in true French style, not doing a thing about it, so I thought "I'm just going to go to the front desk and ask - no sense in us all waiting around if she's never going to show up".  So I asked and then came back and told the whole group that we just needed to wait a bit longer.  The next day, everyone in the 'group' came up to bise me, and I thought - "Oh no, now it begins. I'm going to have bise these people every single class for as long as I stay at this gym. Darn it."  Long-time readers will remember my dislike for the bise, and will understand my internal hissy fit.  I mean, I don't like bise-ing people in the first place, let alone when I'm sweaty and red-faced and just trying to squeeze a workout in over my lunch break.

The following day, I got held up with work so I came just right before class started, and everyone was already on their bike, so I just waved and said "Bonjour" and hopped on mine, and luckily there have been no more bise-ing incidents since, and I'm back to just Hi-ing and Bye-ing them.

Until last week.

I was setting up my stuff in the weight-lifting class, and this random guy comes over, says "Ca va?" and leans in for the bise. I was lost in my thoughts, so he caught me off-guard and I totally stole a scene from the Matrix and did this:

He righted himself very quickly and turned back to his weights, and we both pretended it had never happened.  And I figured "Okay, he must have mistaken me for someone else".

But then it happened again yesterday!  My normal spot was full, so I set up on the other side of the room. When he came in, he looked for me, and then came over to say "Hey, you're not at your usual spot?" and then tried to bise me again!  I still have no clue who this guy is, so I avoided him a second time by bending down to add weights to my bar and said "Yep, well my spot was taken...".  I'm so perplexed by the whole thing - could he really still think I'm someone else?  Or does he somehow think we're gym buddies*?  I mean, I guess now that I think about it, he probably has been setting up his matos next to me for quite some time now.  But we've never even spoken before. Or is that French-guy game and he's just trying to hit on me? 

(*I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, but he really doesn't seem like someone I would click with...he reminds me a bit of that kid in middle school who is always trying just a bit too hard).

It almost makes me glad that I'll probably end up going to Russia next week, just so I can put off dealing with it for another seven days. :D

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Blogger Gwan said...

I'm so glad no-one bises me at work, I hate it too. It would be the last thing I would want to be doing when I'm/they're all hot and sweaty. It's a shame you don't want to out yourself as American, or you could do the "haha, we don't really bise where I'm from" line.

August 20, 2016 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger melinda said...

sounds like he's hitting on u to me

August 20, 2016 at 1:37 PM  
Blogger Bee Ean said...

I hear you. Years ago I was playing badminton in a club, after each match we had to bise, each time I wanted to run away. At work too, every morning I have to bise around 40 coworkers. But I set my rule: bise with female coworkers, hand shake with male coworkers.

August 21, 2016 at 10:20 AM  

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