Deep thoughts for a Monday
My mind has been somewhat preoccupied for the past few weeks. You see, my dear husband would like to go back to school and start a masters degree in the fall. It's a subject he absolutely loves and is passionate about, and the program director is someone who is really well-known in his field. Sounds good, what's the issue you say? Well, luckily, this being France, it's not cost! It's that this is an after-hours program. It would be a minimum of three nights a week (and sometimes four) for the next two years, with C getting home around 9:45pm each time.
But ksam- you did your own masters and C was so supportive! I know. I know. But I hunted around and chose one 1) the shortest master I could and 2) the one that encroached the least on our time together. I was lucky and had class every other Friday and Saturday, so it really only ate up two days per month of our time together. And because I work from home, I was able to do all of my studying during the day, so it didn't really impact our time together.
This would be most weeknights, and then weekends spend studying. For Two Whole Years. I feel so selfish even writing this. My husband is one of the most selfless people I know, and has never once complained about all of my travel or asked me not to go on a trip. He turned down a job that he really wanted because it would have required him to travel too. When I am home, he does everything to ensure that he is home at nights so we can be sure to spend time together given my crazy travel schedule. He constantly accompanies me to the airport/train station, and is there waiting for me when I get back, even if it's just so we can take the RER together. He spends most of his vacations on location with me, while I work. So he deserves this.
But I can't help be worried about us - our time together is already limited as-is, and this is going to cut it back even more. I feel we have a strong relationship, but I also firmly believe that relationships take nurture. We have been very thoughtful thus far about ensuring we spend enough quality time together. And C, bless his heart, is convinced will we still be able to do that. I on the other hand am not so convinced. Out of the 30 people in my masters program, 8 people had divorced by the end of our program. And they were all in situations closer to C's, ie needing to do all of their studying at night and on the weekends. Two more are still in an on-going affair with each other, four years later. C's take on it is that they must have already been in 'fragile' couples going in, but I saw firsthand how much time the program took up for them outside of class, and how much pressure it put on their personal life.
So I don't know. I want to be able to support him on this. And it's really important to him that I do. We've made my career such a priority for the the past five years. It almost hurts me to even write this, but is it time to think about slowing down on travel? I've worked so hard to get where I am, and to establish a 'real' career in France. And I love my job and all the crazy opportunities it has afforded me. How can I give that up? But then the other half of me says "That's so selfish! You're a team. It's his turn now."
I guess the good thing is that we've got the rest of the summer to figure out how to make it work. And at least 50% of us is convinced that we will. :) But if anyone has any suggestions about successfully combining working full-time+studying+family, I'm all ears!
Labels: Masters in France