Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Thursday, March 9, 2017

If you don't like poo talk, you better move on...

So a lot of the customer sites I visit require very high biosecurity (=cleanliness), and many go as far as to require visitors to take a salmonella test before arrival.  The salmonella test usually involves pooing in a cup, and then bringing that cup to a lab for testing.  You wait a few days, and if you get the all clear, you're good to go for the visit.

For whatever reason, my colleagues are required to do them all the time, but I have yet to be asked to do a salmonella test for any of the customers I've visited worldwide.  (I realize though that by writing this, I am probably jinxing myself).

I went to Germany last week for a few days, and the last guy who visited told me they not only required a pre-test, but also an on-site test.  The feasibility of this really piqued my curiosity. I asked the poor guy all kinds of awkward questions like "What do you mean an on-site test?  How does that work?  But what if you don't have to poo?  What do you do then?"

He explained that the on-site tests involve a very long Q-tip and some flexibility.  So that brought on more awkward questions.  How do they give this Q-tip to you?  How do you give it back to them?  Does it come with a vial?  (yes)  Is it see-through?  (yes - cringe)  Do you need to get an actual 'sample', or is it enough to just swish it around up in there? (Answer - he had no clue, he had never dared to ask).  How uncomfortable is it to hand it back to the site manager?  (Very).  I was also dying laughing inside picturing some of our older, very straight-laced Republican male employees having to do this.

For my visit, I had not been asked to do the lab test before my arrival, so I was dreading them having me do it onsite.  Luckily though it never came up - and I sure as heck was not going to bring it up - so I was saved from the poop test for yet another day. 

I swear, my job is so random and strange sometimes...



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