If you don't like poo talk, you better move on...
So a lot of the customer sites I visit require very high biosecurity (=cleanliness), and many go as far as to require visitors to take a salmonella test before arrival. The salmonella test usually involves pooing in a cup, and then bringing that cup to a lab for testing. You wait a few days, and if you get the all clear, you're good to go for the visit.
For whatever reason, my colleagues are required to do them all the time, but I have yet to be asked to do a salmonella test for any of the customers I've visited worldwide. (I realize though that by writing this, I am probably jinxing myself).
I went to Germany last week for a few days, and the last guy who visited told me they not only required a pre-test, but also an on-site test. The feasibility of this really piqued my curiosity. I asked the poor guy all kinds of awkward questions like "What do you mean an on-site test? How does that work? But what if you don't have to poo? What do you do then?"
He explained that the on-site tests involve a very long Q-tip and some flexibility. So that brought on more awkward questions. How do they give this Q-tip to you? How do you give it back to them? Does it come with a vial? (yes) Is it see-through? (yes - cringe) Do you need to get an actual 'sample', or is it enough to just swish it around up in there? (Answer - he had no clue, he had never dared to ask). How uncomfortable is it to hand it back to the site manager? (Very). I was also dying laughing inside picturing some of our older, very straight-laced Republican male employees having to do this.
For my visit, I had not been asked to do the lab test before my arrival, so I was dreading them having me do it onsite. Luckily though it never came up - and I sure as heck was not going to bring it up - so I was saved from the poop test for yet another day.
I swear, my job is so random and strange sometimes...
Labels: Random
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