Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Friday, February 28, 2014

Tell me how you really feel (take two)

Okay, so my third session with the coach is over and done with, and I'm gonna have to let the guy down easy. I just can't take any more of his "Slow down, you're going too fast".  We actually had a conversation about it, that went like this:

Me: Oui, okay, I am maybe a little 'speed'.
Him: A little 'speed'?  What does that mean?  Are you 'speed' or are you not 'speed'?
Me: Is it really that black and white?  There's some gray area in there as well.
Him: No, tell me - are you 'speed' or not 'speed'?
Me: But that's the thing, it's all relative. 
Him:  What does that mean, "it's all relative"?
Me: I mean, I may be 'speed' for France, but in the US, I'd be normal.
Him:  So.... are you 'speed' or not 'speed'?
Me: Argh!!!

Or how about this one:

Him: What are the consequences of  X situation?
Me: It results in me not being able to do my job well.
Him: But what does that mean "to do my job well"?
Me: What do you mean, what does that mean?  It means to do my job as I should be doing it.
Him: No, but tell me what it really means to you to do your job well.
Me: ?? Um...to be able to complete everything I need to do on a daily basis?
Him: No, but what does it really mean?
Me: (Thinking - you can keep putting the accent on different words buddy, but you're still going to get the same answer).
Him - changing tactics - Why is it important for you to do your job well?
Me: Why wouldn't I want to do my job well?
Him: But what do you care if you aren't able to do your job?
Me:  Well one, I am paid rather well to do my job, and two, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it right. I don't half-ass things.
Him: But why is it so important to you?
Me: Maybe it's cultural?  I come from a Scandinavian background, and they are known as hard-workers.  I also grew up with parents who worked extremely long hours, so that was the example I saw as a child.
Him:  But so why is it important to you?
Me: (I swear, if he asks me that question one more time, I am going to punch him)
Him: You do know The Company isn't going to implode just because you didn't do your job well one day, right?
Me: (Oh God, now he's going down that route....)   Yes, I do realize that The Company's entire success or failure is not related to me and me alone.  I just don't understand why it is so hard for you to understand that I want to take pride in my work.  Maybe it's a cultural difference between MN and France.
Him: I feel as if you are very distant today.  What is holding you back?
Me: (Your insane questioning!!)

And that was that.  Even though he spends about two weeks a month in the US, we apparently just couldn't bridge that cultural divide.  I am all for personal betterment, but even my Minnesota Nice couldn't justify sitting through 7 more sessions with this guy, especially since exactly one week from tomorrow, I will be defending my thesis.

(cue panic attack)

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6 Comments:

Blogger Tim Dudek said...

That sounds almost like it should be a sitcom of some kind.

February 28, 2014 at 7:58 PM  
Blogger French teacher said...

Do you think he just doesn't know what the hell he is doing? Or are you just too in tune with what you feel and he can't handle how direct you are? I feel agitated just reading this! Like just cut to the chase already, dude!

March 1, 2014 at 4:48 PM  
Blogger Bostanna said...

He sounds like he's hurting instead of helping you. Forget trying to be polite Sam and just walk away!!

March 2, 2014 at 4:41 AM  
OpenID jeannettesmyth said...

it sounds like he doesn't know how to process your answers and is bent on a regime of questions. i don't think any answer would satisfy him. how weird.

March 2, 2014 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger Blondering Girl said...

It seems like he doesn't want to offer you any of his own interpretations on things, like he's afraid of having an opinion on your situation, other than what he decided at first about you being too "speed." Like he has no idea so just keeps asking questions, hoping you'll say something new that will help him figure it out. So while all good coaches had to start somewhere and learn the job, it's unfortunate that it sounds like neither of you will be able to get what you want/need from this situation!

I've actually been seeing a career/professional coach the past few months, and it's definitely been super helpful dealing with all the transitions I've been through this year. Hopefully if you decide to continue with a coach, student or more experienced, you'll find someone who's a better fit!

March 2, 2014 at 3:49 PM  
OpenID mamanbonne said...

Yea, I couldn't cope with that either... That is just too much.

Merde for your thesis, but I'm sure you'll do great!!

March 4, 2014 at 1:29 PM  

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