I absolutely love taking the bus home from Montparnasse because of 1) it's just a short, direct ride back home and 2) because of the view I get the minute I set foot out of the gare:Could I have a better view to welcome me back to Paris??
Last week was sort of a turbulent week for me - the only way I can think to describe is this: Remember when you went off to college your freshman year and had all this new-found freedom and independance? And life was good and you made tons of friends and learnt a lot. But how at the end of the year, when you moved back home for the summer, it all changed. You felt sulky and cranky and like you'd reverted back to your pre-college self. I mean, you'd done and seen all this stuff! You'd GROWN! And here your parents are treating you like you're the same old person.
That's what staying in V-town was like for me. The first few days were fine, but as the week went on, I felt myself reverting back to samdebretagne. Feeling bitter and negative about being in Bretagne. Angry that I had to stay in a hotel just down the road from what had been my home for so many years. Sad about the family life I was missing out on - Fab's dad's big birthday party last Tuesday, the grandkids starting to walk & talk, the nice ex-SIL's pregnancy. Confusion about how all of that disappeared in a heartbeat. Restless because everything was still so familiar but no longer mine.
But I made it through the week and as I got on the train back to Paris, I felt better with each kilometer that passed. Being in Bretagne has always equaled the feeling of having a weight on my shoulders. And the closer I got to Paris, the lighter that weight felt. By the time I walked out of the gare, I was feeling a million times better. And as I walked home from rhumrhums last night, I was overfilled with joy. I felt like jumping and doing a little leprachaun kick.
This city is so beautiful, so powerful, and its beauty never fails to remind me that everything happens for reason.
Labels: Starting Over
6 Comments:
Ugh, I still feel like that when I go home!
Sorry you had such a blah experience back there... but your note makes me smile since you are so happy with your life in Paris!
Sounds like you've found a sense of comfort and home in Paris...what a wonderful thing!
yay
Personally, I want to see this leprachaun kick...
Wow, I totally feel like you. Paris has "la force" because it's a very beautiful city, full of life and it makes you move forward.
I was never sad a long time while livng in Paris as a teen.
I am sorry you have to go back to Bretagne but I am really thrilled for you about your new life. Sounds great since you moved (last time I read you !).
And Katia is right, show us your leprechaun kick !!
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