Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Alright, there has been a request for more details about the snogging incident. As a side note, I still maintain that "snog" is quite possibly the ugliest word in the English language. But anyways, so there we were, at some strange sort of restaurant that turned into a bar after-hours, forcing people to squeeze in and dance amongst the tables where they could, when we met a group of Irish boys from Cork. I am 100% incapable of telling you any of their names because I could not understand a single word any of them were saying. I'm not quite sure what the problem was - I've been exposed to my fair share of accents over the years and I usually do quite well - but in this case, it was a big, giant FAIL. The minute they opened their mouth, all's I heard was Charlie Brown's teacher: wah wah wah waaahhhh. Me: "I'm sorry, I have no clue what you just said". Irish Boy: "Wah wah wah? Wah wahhhh waaah wah". Me: ????? A couple of them kept trying to talk to me as the night went on, but I was just like "Dude, it's not even worth it."

Which brings me to scarf boy. Who apparently did not care that I did not understand him. After all, who needs words when you can snog? And that is what he tried to do for the rest of the night. To be fair, I did think he was cute at first. And when he asked me to dance just a few minutes after Leyla dared me to kiss someone, I thought "Hey, this is going to be easy". And so, kiss him I did. For a grand total of ten seconds. Maybe I've been lucky, because up until now, I've never kissed anyone that literally disgusted me. I always figured people were exaggerating when they said others were bad kissers. Now, I know that is not the case. The man was a bullet kisser. Did everything you are not supposed to do. And so I pulled away and said "Maybe we should just dance instead". To which he replied "Wah wah wahhhh".

Interpret that as you will.

Luckily, a few minutes later, Elisabeth came up and said she could no longer find Leyla & Mel, providing me with the perfect excuse to get away. They came back with a few Eton boys, and then some more Irish boys were found. Meanwhile, I was avoiding scarf boy (who was circling like a shark) to the best of my abilities. He finally caught me at the end of the night, and since I couldn't understand him, we just sort of stood there staring at each other and smiling stupidly. Which left me wondering how on Earth people fall in love without speaking a common language?

At one point, I understood something that sounded fairly close to "Facebook" and realized he was asking for my name. For whatever reason, I gave him a fake name (which I have now edited out - don't need the poor man googling it and coming across this post) and said "Look for (fake name) from Minnesota - I'm the only one!". Which was a complete lie because there are about a million girls named "fake name" in Minnesota. But I couldn't help myself, he had three strikes against him - he was on the shortish side, a terrible kisser, and oh yeah, I COULDN'T FRICKIN' UNDERSTAND A WORD HE SAID!

Poor ol' scarf boy. Who is either called Fred Claus or John-Paul. Still not really sure....

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16 Comments:

Blogger Andromeda said...

"After all, who needs words when you can snog?"
After my experience studying abroad in Dublin, I can tell you this could probably be Ireland's national motto. I went 5 months without understanding anything and still had the best time ever!!

December 2, 2008 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

I'm with you on the word sno....aaaach, I can't even bring myself to type it.

December 2, 2008 at 2:15 PM  
Blogger Eileen said...

That was hilarious, good story =).

December 2, 2008 at 3:11 PM  
Blogger PAULINE said...

Fred Claus or John-Paul ? Are you sure he was Irish with a name like that ?

December 2, 2008 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Well, it's pretty simple- if you can't understand each other you just kiss and *stuff* until you either get tired of them or at least one of you learns the other's language.

December 2, 2008 at 6:40 PM  
Blogger Rochelle said...

I've always wondered about couples who began by not understanding each other's languages. The attraction must have been very strong but wouldn't you get some weird personality surprises? Like after three years, finding out they were a republican or something?

December 2, 2008 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Au Soleil Levant said...

Hilarious, love this story. But really, if he were cute and a good kisser, would it have mattered that you couldn't understand a word he said? ;)

December 2, 2008 at 9:47 PM  
Blogger Alisa said...

omg that is *hilarious*. after that post, i am totally on board with the 'sam should write a book' crew. (not to mention i had a dream the other night that i walked past a bookstore window and the book you'd written was sitting there for all to see!)

December 3, 2008 at 3:49 AM  
Blogger Cécy said...

Since it was a dare, I think you should win an extra treat for this unpleasant result.

December 3, 2008 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger purejuice said...

fred claus? he IS a bad kisser. notoriously.
hee hee hee.

December 3, 2008 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

Sorry to hear that Santa Claus is a bad kisser. You must have been on the "nice" list!

December 3, 2008 at 11:53 PM  
Blogger Chrissie said...

This is hilarious! :)

December 4, 2008 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger Expat Traveler said...

Lol - sounds like you ran into a Newfie!

December 5, 2008 at 5:23 AM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Hey Sam...

You just had me in stiches... You and TBF take the funny blog post award - Go read his blog about babysitting... SOOO FUNNY!! You are HILIARIOUS, btw.. I wanted to ask what SNOG meant, or did I, don't remember now.. Too many germs in my brain at the moment...
Take care... Lees

December 5, 2008 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger Leesa said...

Hey Sam...

You just had me in stiches... You and TBF take the funny blog post award - Go read his blog about babysitting... SOOO FUNNY!! You are HILIARIOUS, btw.. I wanted to ask what SNOG meant, or did I, don't remember now.. Too many germs in my brain at the moment...
Take care... Lees

December 5, 2008 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger La Page Française said...

Charlie Brown's teacher..HAHA! This is a truly hilarious story!

December 10, 2008 at 9:11 PM  

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