Totally Frenched Out

From the blogger formerly known as Samdebretagne

Thursday, April 2, 2009

First of all, let me just say how disappointed I am in all of you negative commentors. I really thought I could count on you guys of all people to support me. Love is love and sometimes you've just got to fight for. You've seen me through all of this so far, so please don't stop now.

Haha, just kidding - I couldn't resist that first paragraph, especially for all the people who thought it *might* be real - shame on you, you've gotta give me more credit than that! May you all have a permanent paper fish stuck to your back.

To be honest though, on this day last year, I was wishing it was all an April Fool's joke.

As I woke up on the morning of April 2, 2008, life was looking good. We'd just signed a lease on a beautiful little house. I'd been buying furniture left and right like a squirrel stocking up on acorns. I was counting down the days to the end of my teaching contract and to what was what I thought was going to be the beginning of our "real" life. Trying to nail down plans for our 7th anniversary celebration.

So I wasn't expecting a thing. I thought I was heading for Nantes for my last check-up before getting LASIK eye surgery. I'd been looking forward to that day forever, because it meant I'd finally get to spend one, whole, uninterrupted day with Fab. It was an absolutely beautiful day - the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Plus there was a trip to Ikea planned on the way home to pick up the last of the furniture for our new house. What more could a girl ask for?

And then it all came crumbling down. Yeah yeah, boohoo, poor me. We all know what happened in the aftermath.

Fast-forward to one year later, and here I am, still in France - which is surprise numero uno. As you all know, on the whole, things are going relatively well - I enjoy my job, I have a full social life and I love living in Paris. But surprise #2, at least for me, is that I'm still single. Considering that I've been a serial dater all my life, I figured I'd have met someone by the end of last summer. But time has gone by and now it's a year later and nope, still no 'someone special'. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't met the right one, or because I'm trying to have higher standards this time around or because I'm not ready to take that risk again. Or a combination of the three. But it doesn't matter really, I'm mostly okay with it.

My mom hasn't really dated anyone since my dad died in 2000 and I know she feels lonely a lot, especially since the people around her tend to do things as couples and thus don't invite her. That happened to me the other night and she's right - it doesn't really feel that great. Like you're some how less of a person or less valuable to the party if you're unattached. But part my problem is that I'm still not used to thinking of myself as "the single one", and the one-year anniversary combined with my recent trip to Bretagne has left me feeling overly sensitive to it. On the whole, I've been lucky though - I'm one of the only single people left in my close group of friends and they've always been really good about not making me feel like the odd (wo)man out, so I'm grateful for that. Thanks friends.

But good lord, I'm sure hoping that's still not the case this time next year. And I'm still waiting for that day to arrive where I will finally be able to say "Now I know why all this happened"...

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5 Comments:

Blogger Dedene said...

Sam,
Give yourself some time alone. Don't rush into another relationship. OK, date but don't fall in love too quickly.

Good luck for the rest of the year.

April 2, 2009 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger Starman said...

I think you have handled the whole situation marvelously. If I had gone through the same thing, I don't think I'd be too anxious to jump into another relationship, maybe even for years. I'd rather be the odd-man-out than the man in the terrible situation.

April 2, 2009 at 10:08 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

hey man, let's trade lives for a few days k? Then you'll see why being single is so great afterall :p

April 3, 2009 at 5:33 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

Don't worry Sam. I always think that things happen when they have to happen.
But keep your eyes open and enjoy life in Paris !!

April 8, 2009 at 4:39 PM  
Blogger Doc said...

I had to comment, only because my word verification is "fartlieu" and that's just too damn funny to let pass.

April 13, 2009 at 6:41 AM  

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