tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post4225083337929857058..comments2024-03-21T12:20:09.085+01:00Comments on Totally Frenched Out: After shocksKsamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05991667611234163617noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-20050361657473590752010-03-10T22:17:48.720+01:002010-03-10T22:17:48.720+01:00I still get angry when I think about my ex and how...I still get angry when I think about my ex and how I let him treat me so poorly bc I was so blinded by my love for him. It continues to affect me and my relationship w/ Andrew on a daily basis. I have certainly noticed that it has changed the way I am now in this relationship, constantly trying to be in control and fighting for dominance so I feel like I am making the decisions and less likely to be hurt. Obviously I wouldn't be getting married if I truly believe he would cheat on me or treat me the way my ex did, but those feelings haven't gone away w/ me yet either. The best thing I can tell myself (and you) is that I wouldn't be where I am now w/ the most amazing person for me if I hadn't had the experiences (good and bad) that I did. When I think about it that way I am grateful to be where I am in life, even if I had to be hurt on the way.Quantumhollapenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16268189165211357134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-56295107566529467382010-03-09T21:13:56.383+01:002010-03-09T21:13:56.383+01:00Hi Ksam,
I just caught up on about 1 years worth ...Hi Ksam,<br /><br />I just caught up on about 1 years worth of your posts and am so excited to see how lovely your life in Paris is turning out :)It's really inspiring to see you moving forward and opening your heart in new ways. Congrats on making fantastic lemonade outta those lemons... it really inspires me to keep moving forward with hope as well.<br /><br />Emotional wounds are hard to let go of, but as long as you don't make decisions about C from those old places of hurt or fear, you're in the right place. Take each day at a time, live in the now with him, and this experience will always be a blessing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03546791719970460239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-64649621009671991922010-03-09T11:33:28.062+01:002010-03-09T11:33:28.062+01:00Apprehensions are natural KSam. I remember how cau...Apprehensions are natural KSam. I remember how cautious I was after my last breakup, and that phase lasted for a loooong time (think 2.5 years).<br /><br />About guys having good friends who happen to be female and attractive, all I can say is -- given you trust C for all other matters, give him your trust in this matter too. Trust me, while guys do have potential plans of asking out their cute friends, once they are in a relationship, they consciously give up on those plans [I know I did, many years ago :)].<br /><br />And as far as the potential of being cheated again is concerned, that will always be there, <i>no matter what you do</i>. The phrase in italics is important here -- for it is truly NOT in your control.<br /><br />And since it is not, I would just recommending enjoying the time you are spending with C :).Animeshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08412663541603155070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-79801304406220190982010-03-09T10:06:37.084+01:002010-03-09T10:06:37.084+01:00Honestly, I couldn't imagine living through wh...Honestly, I couldn't imagine living through what you did with Fab and I give you so much credit for sticking it out in France and growing so much. Like everyone said, it's normal to feel what you do, but also you are incredibly strong considering what happened, so don't forget how amazing you are for what you have been able to achieve. I believe that the best things in life are worth working towards or waiting for, so I think the trust issues will come over time. Have you told C how you feel? Not in a crazy "don't ever see a female again" way, but just that you are personally working through some stuff? Maybe it would help if he at least was informed? <br /><br />And personally, I think the beginning of a relationship, while fun, is overrated. That deeper connection comes with time, and I much prefer something real over something new.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-76363417204710899292010-03-09T01:54:10.992+01:002010-03-09T01:54:10.992+01:00those little ripples of insecurity are totally nor...those little ripples of insecurity are totally normal. the great thing is that you recognize them and keep them in check. we are all affected by past hurts and experiences, i think it shows maturity by acknowledging and accepting that they are there and you don't want them to take control! and don't worry about that first falling in love flying feeling - i've been married almost 9 yrs and honestly, we are much more honeymoonish and like that NOW then we were back at the beginning of our marriage. :)Texas Espressohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13602268122530675926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-86885579140261546062010-03-09T00:36:22.895+01:002010-03-09T00:36:22.895+01:00Sam, you had the rug completely pulled out from un...Sam, you had the rug completely pulled out from under you after setting up a new life in a new country and being with someone for years. It was shocking, traumatic, and heartbreaking. No one can blame you for having these feelings! I think the amazing part is not that you have them but that you've been able to overcome them and move on as well as you have and not be crazy jealous and suspicious all the time. Clearly C thinks you are very special and that you were worth the waiting and being cautious at the beginning. Remember that - he could have decided that it wasn't worth the trouble, but he stuck around and wants to have a future with you. That tells you how wonderful he thinks you are. And since he's been hurt before too, I imagine that he is even more sincere than most guys. Focus on enjoying what you have with him now instead of being sad that it wasn't what it might have been at the beginning.au soleil levanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11064160087622989411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-17024915029880298452010-03-08T18:14:45.954+01:002010-03-08T18:14:45.954+01:00it IS hard to let yourself fall again after having...it IS hard to let yourself fall again after having been duped (i'm kind of at the same place right now)... but you can't let that past foolishness have an impact, and effectively ruin, your future happiness.<br /><br />besides, love is about risks, no?Oneikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08567555873785208995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-8162988005875367992010-03-08T17:50:08.357+01:002010-03-08T17:50:08.357+01:00I read a post from you a while back about how far ...I read a post from you a while back about how far you've come since being with Fab. You sound very strong and determined and I think these little niggles are perfectly normal given what happened. It is something that will time, but you'll get there. <br /><br />A while ago I was given a card by a friend with the famous line "love like you've never been hurt" I think its good advice to follow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-66380097470695365802010-03-08T14:28:28.082+01:002010-03-08T14:28:28.082+01:00Sometimes I think you just have to take a leap of ...Sometimes I think you just have to take a leap of faith. It's a good mantra to keep the old relationship demons at bay :)<br /><br />Congratulations on your citizenship btw!!christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08609412152225467711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-2921235592509015432010-03-08T12:52:20.006+01:002010-03-08T12:52:20.006+01:00Might not be a bad idea to visit with a counselor....Might not be a bad idea to visit with a counselor.<br /><br />By the way, I am always astounded when people say things like "I don't like Americans" (or any other large group of people. Have they met them all? How can they possibly say that?Global Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14829642620261054318noreply@blogger.com