tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post2054174980000333341..comments2024-03-21T12:20:09.085+01:00Comments on Totally Frenched Out: But how do you really feel?Ksamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05991667611234163617noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-90065042178570949162014-02-25T14:43:59.232+01:002014-02-25T14:43:59.232+01:00PS I missed the part where you said he's a new...PS I missed the part where you said he's a new coach and that he is actually depending on you for HIS thesis. (sigh) Maybe try one more session but if he's still insisting you do it HIS way then it means he is not listening to YOU, which he ought to be doing. In which case, perhaps you could try to have a candid discussion with him; say that you realize he's a new coach and that YOUR understanding of coaching and what it is supposed to be is very different from what is happening in your coaching sessions. I realize that means you will be criticizing a French person and they often don't take that too well. But if he wants to improve as a coach then accepting feedback from clients is important. You could actually be doing him a big favor. Just a thought. And you could still do some coaching with me, too, to work on the job situation (we could do it over the phone although meeting for coffee would be fun too.) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-4315557060641682452014-02-25T14:36:47.540+01:002014-02-25T14:36:47.540+01:00OKAY, I had to weigh in on this one. Maybe you did...OKAY, I had to weigh in on this one. Maybe you didn't know but I'm actually a trained professional coach (life and career coaching were my specialties). And I think I see why you are feeling frustrated with the meetings you had with this guy. First of all, either he is also a clinical therapist who also does coaching (there are many of those), because he sounds like one, or else he is a coach who is crossing the boundary into therapy when he's NOT trained as a therapist. Therapy and coaching are very different things. The woman you ruled out would probably have a different style (we all do) but if you felt she was already oriented toward what SHE thought you "should" do then you were probably right in not meeting with her, either. I'm not saying they might not be good coaches in their own right but the coach is not supposed to be steering the client/coachee in any direction whether it it to specific outcome the coach thinks is best, or whether the coach in question believe the client "should" be getting in touch with their feelings more. I started coaching in 1997 and was actually still doing it even when I first moved here to France, and that's not at all the way *I* was trained to do coaching. Just saying.<br /><br />On the other hand it could be just that neither of those coaches were the right personality fit for you, and nothing more. Doesn't mean that coaching wouldn't be useful to you in the present circumstances. Perhaps you could get another name or two, to interview? <br /><br />Or... If you want some coaching at the special, low-low "friend" discount (100% off) then let me know. I don't promise what results you'll get but if what you need is a place to work through your thoughts out loud with someone, maybe it would help. I do ask questions (that's actually what coaches ARE trained to do) that are designed to help you come up with your own solutions, though sometimes I may voice an opinion or brainstorm suggestions with you if the situation calls for it. <br /><br />You know where to find me. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-31454599200155722322014-02-22T06:40:05.827+01:002014-02-22T06:40:05.827+01:00rien à voir avec un problème culturel, il ferait l...rien à voir avec un problème culturel, il ferait la même chose avec une Française. Il serait aussi pénible avec son " too speedy". Les situations que vous rencontrez ne sont pas toutes à mettre sur le " culturel ", un français aurait le même problème avec ce type.<br /> Salutations d'un lecteur de la première heure qui intervient rarement. Je vous suis depuis votre vie en Bretagne ! <br />Bon courage !Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05732906872139219420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-85993717049595946552014-02-18T13:41:42.198+01:002014-02-18T13:41:42.198+01:00ha! just thinking of you and your long silences on...ha! just thinking of you and your long silences on the phone when you're thinking. how on earth could he accuse you of being too "speed"?la fille en rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00116531571737296887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-87491978465822891542014-02-18T13:22:34.509+01:002014-02-18T13:22:34.509+01:00I guess his advice to you would be to wait it out ...I guess his advice to you would be to wait it out and not make such a speedy decision to cut him loose.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00930427420786164103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-56016116174312619122014-02-18T11:04:52.064+01:002014-02-18T11:04:52.064+01:00Thanks, that's what I'm wondering too...th...Thanks, that's what I'm wondering too...there might just be too much of a cultural divide for this to work. But at the same time, it's also part of the reason I wonder if I could ever be successful in the French workplace.... Ksamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991667611234163617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2394835278337306813.post-3814934310620895222014-02-18T10:50:31.353+01:002014-02-18T10:50:31.353+01:00This sounds more like a cultural problem than a pe...This sounds more like a cultural problem than a personality one. I would think it would be tough, voire impossible to coach someone of a different culture, since effective coaching relies so heavily on shared cultural touchstones in the areas of analyses, motivation, and endgame envisioning(for both the coach and the coach-ee). What you've recount here illustrates this brilliantly. He is seeing you as "not reflecting enough" and you are simply being American in your way of thinking...on your feet, reactive, and analyzing issues rapidly. <br /><br />You've actually just shown us a wonderful metaphor for our two cultures, haven't you?The Paris Chronicleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02667503853760168339noreply@blogger.com